My aunt says “You just love life! You’re always doing something.”
And this is true, I do love life, and I love doing things. But it’s not really the whole truth. The whole truth is that I just can’t stop, that I feel the need to fill every single minute of a day otherwise the day feels wasted. Relaxation isn’t relaxing to me, it’s anxiety inducing.
When me and my husband went on our honeymoon we spent the first four days of our stay restlessly prowling the resort because we didn’t know what to do with ourselves with nothing to do. That was when I realized all-inclusive beach vacations just aren’t for me. I dimly understand that this inability to stop is probably a bad thing but I also don’t care. Here I go!
I did not have to do anything at all this weekend. I had no actual demands on my time and no place I had to go, nothing I had to do. So I went looking for some things to demand my time.
Friday night I spent time with a college friend… sort of. We video chat and watch TV shows together, it’s like getting to hang out. Almost.
Saturday morning I met my friend at her house for breakfast, then drove the hour and a half to the Finger Lakes and had a pizza party at my sister’s house to celebrate my Dad’s 111th birthday. Just kidding, he’s really somewhere in his late 50s. After the part I walked a mile down the lake road, alone because my dog found the weather not to be to his liking, and everything was gray. The lake was gray, the sky was gray. The air itself seemed gray.
At 8am the following morning I met my sister, cousin, nieces and mom for breakfast and to plan my sister’s upcoming baby shower. Mostly this involved lots of children children crying like the world was about to end and then recovering moments later to play again. Ah, to be young. Afterwards I stopped by to visit a family friend, she’s leaving her home of 30 years for a new home in Newark. It’s sad to think about all of the things we can’t control and all the places life takes us, sometimes when we don’t want to go.
I had to get back home by 4pm so I returned to the cottage only to collect my things, and my dog and head out again. It rained the whole way home. At 4pm I had “Movie Night” with my college roommates. We watched Alien and I reminisced about how I was way to young when I first watched that movie and good god was it horrifying. It was just like the old days when we were all together. Almost.